Explanation of Survey and Profiles
I came across the idea of an on-line survey by accident. The idea first took hold as I began desiring some contact with people who have lived through the same situation as I, namely, being shunned from one’s family. I began entering keywords in America Online’s member search directory. I stumbled upon a few profiles as I began seeking “former” and “ex” Jehovah’s Witnesses. However, the majority of the profiles that came up were current members of Jehovah’s Witnesses, with “ex” or “former” appearing somewhere in their personal profiles. Upon examining them further, I discovered them to be revealing, and subsequently pulled a total of 144 profiles for examination. For instance, one read, “soon-to-be-ex-draftsman, soon-to-be-regular-pioneer,” something I found to be quite in line with the directives Witnesses receive from the Society. Another mentioned he was a grounds keeper for a golf course which was “80% Witness owned.” Upon further investigation, I learned that it was owned by members of the Witnesses, not the organization itself. Still, I found these profiles quite revealing insights into the lives of active members of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I did another search looking up the keywords “former Jehovah.” This brought up four profiles of current witnesses (this last word is intentionally not capitalized to indicate, as they do, that it is not a mere name, but an activity in which they participate). I used these four profiles within the context of the 144 total profiles. The other 140 profiles were pulled up randomly. There is a chart in the appendices that details a few interesting points. I did not include in the data those active Witness profiles that came up under “ex” to avoid further bias. During the semester, it was my intention to interview some ex-witnesses. I looked into advertising for participants in local newspapers, but being a poor college student, it did not seem feasible. Upon running across a few profiles of actual ex-JW’s on-line, I sent them a short explanation of what I hoped to accomplish and a list of a few questions. I sent a different set of questions to another group of ex-JW’s a few weeks later. The survey question sheets are in the appendices as well. To avoid any bias, I tried to refrain from using any leading or suggestive words in the phrasing of the questions. When I felt a word was leading, I countered it with its opposite. I received fourteen surveys back in all, with two people submitting previously written stories. Not every point was covered by each participant due to the different questions on the two surveys. Upon making a spreadsheet combining the points on each survey, a 25% ratio of blank spaces resulted. The participants are either disfellowshipped, disassociated, or “disappeared” from the organization. Although there are varying degrees of family acceptance, most have minimal contact with their families due to shunning. It doesn’t matter if they were formally disfellowshipped or left on their own. I have learned through this research that ex-Witnesses love to tell their stories. It is an essential part of the healing process. There is a growing underground on the World Wide Web that consists of ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses and current Witnesses alike. Many people have left the organization due to running across “apostate literature” on the web. Being brave enough to have read it, they became astounded at how well the material relates to their own lives. There is certainly a plethoric network of support for people searching the truth about “the Truth.” Eight women and six men responded to the survey. The responses from the participants are unique and insightful glimpses into the lives of ex-cult children. There are more commonalties than I suspected. I often wished for the option to ask questions that came to me as I read their words, but this is a drawback in doing a written survey. Although not a scientific study, the results at once confirmed many of my beliefs and thus relieved my sense of subjectivity. The results also countered some fairly staunch opinions I had formed and helped me to re-evaluate, and somewhat conservatize, my position on happiness within the cult. I now think happiness is possible up to the point where one becomes aware of other ways of living, or deception, or begins resenting the excessively stringent behavioral expectations the society imposes. Before the survey, I did not see that happiness was possible at all. And true peace of mind and true happiness may not be possible. For happiness with rigidity, fear and dread at its base is worlds apart from happiness formed on a foundation of exploration and quietude. Whether all cult-children are traumatized remains questionable. Indisputably, the answer is found within each person’s home-life and individual character. I make this assertion since I have been chronically aware of my own trauma from my own experience. This is probably not true for all survivors to the degree in which it is for me, and judging from the surveys, it may be even more true for others. But for purposes of this thesis, my devotion lies within the exposition of the traumatic effects of childhood within the cult that is known as the meek and humble Jehovah’s Witnesses. I have had a tremendous ride the last few weeks. For the very first time in my adult life I have met with people whose life experiences are vastly similar to mine. I now see that my study was not in vain. It was these connections all along for which I have been searching. Two new friends, Alan and Juliann, lent me a videotape about disfellowshipped children that confirmed my own experiences. They welcomed my husband and me into their home for dinner and the opportunity to meet an author whose book I have been using for reference, James Penton. A historian and third generation ex-Witness himself, Penton shared insights into the cult that I wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. For instance, the organization became more oppressive and rigid in the early 1950’s when “the Judge” Rutherford, the second president of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society, and Nathan Knorr began the campaign for disfellowshipping. As it turns out, 1952 is the same year my parents became involved. He mentioned that, in his childhood, things were much more liberal within the organization. Through the internet, I have been flooded with more information than I can possibly share through the slim pages to follow. There is newfound quiet within me resulting from an understanding that goes deeper than anything I've known for the twenty-two years I've been out of this cult. I am ever so thankful for all the people with whom I have exchanged information based on our mutual pasts.
|